We could ask the question differently.
We could wonder : Is this a good enough world ?
And then, we would be tempted to wonder : What is the world ? Is the world an objective reality ? Is the world a subjective reality ? Maybe Both ? Maybe your reality, your perception or your kids perception or your neighbours perception ?
Or all those things together ?
It’s the same about being a mum.
You are not an objective reality.
Or just one woman.
You’re not even just a woman.
You’re also this soul that is not defined by your gender.
You are this soul and reality that is not just defined by your motherhood.
When it is true that your soul is contained within one body, you can be many women in ONE.
And in the same way, you can be many mothers in One.
You can be the careful mother, but also the worried mother, the carrieristic mother and then the dedicated mother in the SAME day.
All these women are not actresses. They are you. They are not playing in a movie, they are playing in the playground of life.
Where does the conception of the perfect mother comes from ?
Where does this fear of never doing enough comes from ?
Are we living our lives like a competition that we win or loose ? Arent we, when we are only motivated about the results of our actions, living in the theory of our life instead of living the life itself, with all the contradictions within?
Life is not something we can only act upon even if we are told the opposite. Many times in our lives, we need to surrender and accept that we cannot control everything. We cannot control that someone doesnt love us anymore, we cannot control that we are suddenly very sick, we cannot control death or accidents. Yet we continue to live after big and small events. We continue to live and we continue to change.
Take for instance a couple. In the beginning it’s all about passion, then it changes into something more mature or just different, sometimes the couple stays a couple sometimes it doesn’t…But if we had to judge the couple, what should we judge ? Which moment, which period of the couple should we judge ? If let’s say, they break apart, does this mean that they were not meant to be ? But then what about all the beautiful moments the couple had together ? What about all these lessons they taugh each other or they taugh themesleves ? Which part of the history should we record ?
We maintain the false idea that things must go one way because we were taugh that we win or loose. No middle. But that’s not true.
We just live. And life is not static.
It’s « living ». That’s why we call it « life ».
Same with motherhood. Motherhood is a living thing. Like a tree, like anything that grows, it changes shapes. Sometimes it needs sun, sometimes it needs water, sometimes it grows quickly and sometimes not. And it’s still the same tree.
It has to deal with something bigger than itself : duality. Our kids need separation to become independant and stronger. But they also need bonding. Does this mean that we have to make one choice ? No. Same with mothering.
When I wake up in the morning in a bad mood for whatever reason, it just means I’m in a bad mood. It doesnt mean i’m a bad mother. If I shout at my husband, at my kid, and then realize i was wrong and apologize, it doesnt mean i’m a bad mother, it means i’m a healthy humanbeing realizing its behavior and conscious about its limits. Of course, I need to be aware. I need to be aware of the world I live in and make the best choices i can make. But I only have the responsability of the duty, not the responsability of the result.
I’m a good enough mother because I care and I doubt myself. That’s already making me a great mother.
But i’m also a good enough mother because I’m a happy woman and i care about myself. That’s already making me a great mother.
I’m a good enough mother because I’ve accepted to let go and i’ve taugh my kids by letting go, to let go too.
I’m a good enough mother.
And so are you.