We are all tempted when we have kids to just dive in the experience, give everything we have, do all the things that we are required to do, drop all our dreams, sacrifice our time and wishes for ourselves, and then pretend that it’s normal, it’s the way when we have kids, when we become a family…..
If you are in a situation where you feel that you have ceased suddenly to exist for yourself, that all your decision making depends only of your kids and family, then you need to stop for five minutes and think twice.
Ask yourself :
When was the last time you did something only for yourself? Are you waking up with a purpose in life other than raising your kids, something that you love to do and that you’re still doing for the sake of your sanity? Do you still have dreams for you and not for them, dreams of you becoming whoever you want to become or accomplishing whatever you want to accomplish? Or have you just dropped everything ?
You might answer : I love just raising my kids, and if it’s the honnest truth, than let it be. Some women only want to raise their kids and that’s great, if it’s their choice.
But, if you are one of those mums who thinks that you should sacrifice it all, then know that :
-If you are happy, filled with energy and dreams, you will show your kids the example. No matter how hard you try to explain to them how important it is to follow our guts, our dreams, your kids will never believe you if they don’t see YOU fighting for your own dreams, for your own goals, if they don’t observe you with a purpose other than raising them (which is a great purpose if it’s the one you chose, but not if it’s one you are forcing yourself to do because you think you have no choice).
-By realizing yourself, you will let your kids realize themselves too. You won’t project on them what you have failed to give yourself in the first place. It’s a healthy selfishness. It’s about taking care of yourself the best you can so you can give the best version of yourself to your kids. You will not be asking them to be the doctor you wished you were or the artist you failed to become. You will let them be free of their choices because you were free of your own choices. You will teach them without even noticing the true meaning of freedom. The freedom of becoming who you ARE.
-When you follow your path, when you follow your guts, when you believe in the potential of life, when you believe in your own potential, in the options that life gives, you are setting a true example to your kids. You are showing them that if we believe in something hard, we can get it. You will teach them to wake up with a purpose, with a thirst for realizing and working towards realizing things. You will give them HOPE. But if you are just starring at life, no taking care of yourself and not even trying to reach your goal, your kids will integrate that everything is NOT possible. They may “succeed” in their life but they won’t have this deep belief that they can do ANYTHING. And believing that is the only attitude we should have toward life,because the more we believe it, the more it becomes true.
Yes. Believing that everything is possible is not just about words. It’s really an attitude to the world. When you meet people that believe that they can do anything, that they can climb mountains, that they can drop their job and follow their true passion, people who are not AFRAID to LIVE, you get inspired.
It’s just the same with your kids. If you take your life seriously and believe that you deserve to pursue whatever dreams you have, your kids will be inspired. And this is one of the best lesson and gift that you can offer them.
-It doesn’t matter if you succeed or not, what matters is the PATH, it’s the ATTITUDE. We never realise really when we’ve succeeded or not because all the time we were living the life we chose for ourselves and not a life that is choosing for us.
It’s really simple. If you don’t choose for yourself the life you want for yourself, other people will do it for you, life will do it for you. So it’s up to YOU only.